She Belongs to Me, and I to Her

In honor of my friend, Simone, who is picking up her newly adopted pup, Winnie, this week I thought I would take this opportunity to share my story.

The Beatles have a song “I’ve Just Seen a Face,” and I can’t think of a more succinct description of my little girl. Her name is Frankie and our story is still unfolding, but first I need take you back. Suffice it to say that the story my husband and I settled on was that we just lived a lifestyle that was not conducive to pets. So for more than 26 years that we shared a home we simply did not have pets. I would even go so far as to say that we were officially NOT animal people. Now let me say that in my travels I had experienced many, many occasions where I could literally SEE the connection between my friends and their pets. I watched and felt the connection with the same curiosity that I watch a classically trained ballerina. Beautiful, but not something that I would EVER experience.

I have sat with friends in deep grief over the loss of their furry friends. I have cried with them. Not because I mourned the loss but because my friends were in such palpable grief. I would listen with a detached distance as friends compared pet stories, but always knew it was not something that was personal to me, nor did I ever think it would be.

Fast forward to a Tuesday night in December of 2006. My friend has always taken up the slack that I left in not being an animal person. Always a menagerie of horses, dogs, birds and the occasional hamster (I think). It’s a regular stop in my weekly calendar – Tuesday evenings with the girls. We go to the same house every week and I’m sure I heard “the story,” or at least parts of it. She had yet another dog which she had “rescued” from a home that could no longer handle her. She came with a name, Frankie, a persistent ear infection and, as I later found out, some definite personality “issues.” It’s almost Christmas, the weather is ugly and my spirit is waning. In fact, it has been months since I have been able to do anything from a place of joy. I feel as though I am in utter despair. I’m sitting at the dining table which has been our regular meeting spot. I maintain the same consistent relationships and over time you can hide from anyone, even yourself. I was having trouble getting off the couch or out of bed if I wasn’t actually required to be somewhere – like work. So it was in this space, on this otherwise non-descript Tuesday evening that SHE appeared. This beautiful creature ran through the house, straight to my knee, placed her beautiful two-toned muzzle on my knee, looked at me with her caramel-colored eyes and literally unlocked a new wing of my heart. Now, no one who knew me then would have described me as a Grinch, but I actually felt my heart change. I left that house that night – without saying a word – a changed woman. I was genuinely awe-struck and when I woke the next morning the only thing I could think was “how am I going to get that dog.” The story about how I negotiated bringing this creature is much more a story about our marriage than about her, so I’ll save that for another time.

“I’ve Just Seen A Face”
By: The Beatles

I've just seen a face,
I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She's just the girl for me
And want all the world to see
We’ve met …

I knew NOTHING about being a dog mom. We brought home this amazing creature and she jumpstarted a life that felt like it was circling the drain. All I really knew (or had been told) was that she NEEDED exercise. Now, the truth is that I should have been doing this all along, but I could not get off the couch to save my life. For Frankie, though, ANYTHING. We started walking. In fact, I’m convinced that I became a local Forrest Gump. We walked, we went to behavior classes (turns out that was for me, too), and I learned about my girl. If you’re still with me, I’ll say it right out loud – Frankie Saved My Life. From the day that I met her, up to and including today, a wing of my heart has been unlocked and continues to grow that did not exist in me BF (Before Frankie). You will come to know more about me because of her, but for today I will simply close with profound love and deep gratitude for My Girl.